PLAYLIST: LA to Vegas Road Trip
Big Vegas Groove Blender
Hey, baby. Greetings from my sunburnt husk! I recently got back from three days of drinking, swimming and um, professional wrestling in THE GAMBLING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
Las Vegas is a crazy playland where everything is kinda off, the rules are all kinda different, and nothing is real, besides consequences—but those come later so don’t worry about it.
While I cannot provide you with gambling advice (though I know the “good” slot machine at El Cortez), or where the best parties are (I couldn’t afford tickets for Kaskade at Zouk).
Instead, I have the absolute perfect playlist—if you choose to drive there specifically from my house in Los Angeles.
I poured over this playlist with help from friends and I’m happy to report it was a hit with my fellow passengers, who have selective and varied tastes. Here was my criteria:
HONOR VEGAS: The point is to get your fellow passengers excited to go to Las Vegas, unlike any other place in the world. Lean into it!
CERTAIN GENRES DON’T FIT: Vegas isn’t 80’s! (Except here.) It is, however, 60’s, 70’s, retro 90’s and The Hangover soundtrack.
MUSIC = SCENERY: The songs meant to be played on an LA highway or the Strip are not the same as when you’re looking at an abandoned gas station. I looked at a map and predicted every shift.
NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO SHOW OFF: The Vegas road trip is not for flexing. The further you get from LA, the less cool it should get.
Let’s hit the road, baby.
KICKOFF:
First song is an abomination! But so is Vegas. If your fellow riders can’t enjoy this Britney + Elvis mashup from the Elvis film, they may not be ready for THE GLITTER GULCH.
LEAVING LOS ANGELES:
I then pick some good-ush LA-vibes kinda sexy, kinda cheesy songs that could kick off any road trip: Republica, The Donnas, Sonic Youth! I also have an assortment of songs that are about Vegas but aren’t poison to the ears. We’re talking Sin City-themed songs by Nico, The B-52’s, and naturally Cocteau Twins. If it’s about SIN CITY, it fits!
Momma! Rockin' on the roulette wheel!
She was about to die…
Fun!
I also put in a song about Vegas by something called Clubstrophobia to ease into a French house portion because so much of Vegas is EDM now and that’s as close as I want to get. But there’s some Stardust, Modjo and Blur.
That transitions into vaguely 60’s themed 90’s songs by Edwyn Collins, Space, White Town, Saint Etienne and The Cardigans. I would love to find more songs with this vibe—it’s such a specific thing.
Then, a perfect transition from this* to this**
* Fun(?) fact: if you type “Suicide Surrender” into YouTube it just gives you a number to call.
** The Celine was for one specific passenger who enjoys Celine.
I get into a mellow lounge-y mood with songs from The Avalanches, Daft Punk, Okay Kaya and Feist as you pass through the rolling hills into long stretches of joshua trees and mountains.
*NOTE: There are a ton of kitschy lounge compilations from the 90’s that didn’t make this playlist because a lot of it is, well, annoying. I recommend having them on hand for private listening in Vegas, since everywhere you go will be blasting LMFAO.
A PROPER ROAD TRIP:
Then it transitions from “All I Wanna Do” to “Stuck In The Middle With You,” which is the definition of too easy.
We then go into our portion for chuggin’ down the highway through the desert. Boomers love doing that so I put a lot of CLASSIC CRUSIN’ HITS into this part. We’ve got Steppenwolf, Fleetwood Mac, Harry Nilsson, Santana, Gram Parsons, Willie Nelson, Big Star and Elvis. I also put in a little El Vez to mix it up. This will get you to Barstow, California.
ASIDE: On a long drive, I pulled into Barstow to take a break from driving the living Atari game that is the drive back in total darkness. A late night McDonald’s Drive-Thru attendant’s vague warning, “they’re out there” put me at great unease. Moments later, I pulled into a gas station and while I browsed a concerning Reddit thread, and a Jokermobile pulled behind me. A Jokermobile, of course, is a purple spray painted car that says, “WHY SO SERIOUS!?” driven by a man dressed kinda like the Joker who stared at me. I left without filling up. Every now and then, I Google “Barstow Joker” but nothing comes up.
At some point, the passing cacti will begin to have a hypnotic effect on the passengers (hopefully not the driver) and I’ve accounted for that too with some country-tinged songs by Slim Whitman, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Jim Croce, Roy Orbison, and yes, the Neil Diamond cover from Pulp Fiction.
At this point, you are a road dawg and I’ve added some classic trucker hits like “Caravan” by Chet Atkins & Les Ford and songs about truckin’ by people who mainly rode drunk in the backs of limousines, like this man:
THE SANDS OF NEVADA
This brings us naturally to our rat pack portion. I realized this stuff isn’t as fun to listen to, so I cut it down a bit despite it being the sound. Then again, I grew up in a New Jersey family who teaches their kids who “Uncle Frank” is (and they’re not talking about this guy).
I do want to highlight this particular medley, where Dean Martin shouts out the owner of the Sands, and calls Sinatra and alcoholic. He also says “a wife in Vegas—take my advice—it's like going to China with a sack of rice” which is on the safe side of what Dean Martin could have said about China in 1963, but it still feels racist. Also, some mild burns in here as he loves Vegas “just like Kruschev loves being indignant” and “more than even my wife Jeannie loves being pregnant” which does not rhyme. I hope those eight children he had solved his marriage troubles! Speaking of rat pack kids…
There’s a whole James Bond portion, which is funny because James Bond isn’t really a Vegas guy. He goes there in Diamonds Are Forever—it’s funny to see him face off against a fat southern Nevada sheriff. But he’s more of a Monte Carlo kinda guy. Anyway, it’s a vibe that weirdly fits!
That leads to a specific block of Vegas-loving British crooners like Tony Christie and Tom Jones which gradually start to ramp things up.
You’re probably re-entering civilization around this time, likely somewhere around Primm, so I get a little loose goosey and add in some disco. Was Las Vegas a disco haven? Probably not. I would wager the first proper 1970’s disco in Las Vegas was built somewhere around 1993 and sold chicken fingers, but disco and Vegas share a similar cheese and we’re mainly building up momentum now.
Andrea True here looks kinda like a Vegas cocktail waitress. There’s also Average White Band, Carl Carlton, and Disco Tex and His Sex-O-Lettes. (Note to self: I need to do a deep dive here on Monti Rock III.)
I also picked the original Ohio Players “Love Rollercoaster” because this wasn’t available but it’s inspired by this montage:
VIVA LAS VEGAS
Now, you should be seeing the bright lights of Vegas from afar. I included the proper version of the prerequisite anthem “Viva Las Vegas” as well as the normal version of “A Little Less Conversation” and not the weird Junkie XL version that was everywhere in 2002. It always makes me think of Brad Garrett dancing…see him live at the Brad Garrett Comedy Club at the MGM Grand!
I know I said, Las Vegas is not hip-hop but the exception is top 40 hits from 2006 that they’ll be blasting at the pool. Lil Jon and Usher are this generation’s Wayne Newton! I’ve ended the playlist with a bunch of this for driving through Vegas with your wolf pack, saying “the night is ours, boys,” even if your car is filled with girls. Likely, you’ll need to lower the volume immediately because driving in Vegas, particularly on the strip, is hell and you’ll need to concentrate.
After that, it’s recommended you park and not get behind the wheel again before you leave. Every third Uber driver in Vegas has a one-man show they can’t wait to perform for you, filled with horror stories and stories about Carrot Top. They deserve a generous tip!
Then, let the party begin! If you’re doing it right, it should look like this:
The first time I went to Vegas, the first thing I saw was a man in a white suit and no shirt walking at a 45-degree angle, and bleeding from the head. It made me so happy. Any eagle-eyed visitor can find at least one of those on any given night.
I also want to highlight a few fun stops for you for your stay in THE DIVORCE CAPITAL OF AMERICA (sorry running out of nicknames). If you have any hidden gems, please let me know:
Velveteen Rabbit: The closest thing to a chill, cool bar I’ve found—and there’s a photo booth and pink decor so it’s still a little kitschy.
Dino’s Lounge: I’ve seen a lot of karaoke in my life, but nothing compares to what I saw on an overnight layover there the night after Christmas 2022.
El Cortez: My favorite casino in Las Vegas. It was built in 1941, is not corporate in ownership or vibe, it’s not stingy with complimentary drinks and there’s something about those coin slots.
Frankie’s Tiki Room: If you’re ok with smelling like cigarettes forever.
Vintage Vegas: And the other odd antique stores in the arts district.
MGM Grand Pool: Kinda worth the stay tbh, despite the presence of some of the biggest assholes on planet Earth, as well as the unsupervised children aggressively swimming against the tide in the lazy river, knocking my $30 pool float away from my friends while I’m trying to drink my melting Piña Colada. The most surprising sighting there: Bob Mould!
The Slide in Container Park: Just the slide.
Binion’s: Another Fremont casino, I didn’t spend much time there but kept saying “Binion’s” over and over to myself.
Walgreens: Cheapest beer on the strip!
Omega Mart: Whatever, it’s fun.
Best Friend: If you’re not tired of fake grocery stores, visit Roy Choi’s bodega-themed spot at Park MGM.
Aria: I’ve never been but Michael Douglas calls it the “The Ariar” in Last Vegas.
And of course, The Giant Ball.
On your way back, play whatever music you’d like because you’re going home and home is normal. I opted for chill instrumentals, the occasional loud pop song or punk song, and one “Oops I Farted Again” that everybody got mad at.
Yes, it is an abomination. A faux-glitzy, cheesy, neon-lit, morbidly expensive, man-made affront to God. But I love it…in small doses.