PLAYLIST: slightly inappropriate protest songs
We are the Ghor (oh no)
I try to write these for mostly trivial reasons—to keep up on music and enrich my listening, as well as just an exercise in putting words to paper. But sometimes, it feels extra trivial!
Right now, Los Angeles (where I am) is the topic of discussion again and seems to be the intended target of a multi-tier escalation by some of the most rotten people in this country.
It begins with ICE agents “disappearing” people (I hate that phrase) out of their places of employment, or courthourses or streets, illegally, in masks and with aggressive tactics, regardless of who they are after. Okay, raaandom! But this is all to keep us safe as they might be part of a violent gang like SEIU United Service Workers West.
Then, the inevitable protests are escalated by cops with shit eating grins who seem to confuse television cameras with rifle scopes. This gives a narrative to shoot people in the head, particularly representatives of far-left zines like the New York Post. We’re such a blessed generation; this is the “old news” part of the story.
The media can’t help but focus on the poor, defenseless, unmarked walls and reports on chaos in the streets—two whole streets! Innocent Saymos (three of them!!!) are going up in flames while their Waymos wait for them to come home from a hard day’s work. Where was this outrage when they killed HitchBOT?
Many Apple Vision Pros were lost this week, as well. Yes, there were looters in DTLA. If only there were some police downtown to stop them!
Are there rioters? Unless it’s any major sports event in any major city, they’re not the easiest group to organize (as “riot” is in their name) but our lightpoles remain ungreased. It’s a little overblown. But can’t the storyweavers on the news embellish a little for drama? Let them cook!! One look at on-the-ground coverage shows a recently teargassed group dancing, which I guess is rioting by Footloose law.
Meanwhile, the President threatens to, uh, arrest the governor and, uhhhh, hit spitters (?) if they even think of ruining his Super Sweet 79, a magical dream birthday party (better than the one on the island) for the luckiest boy in the land. It’ll have huge (“yuge,” remember that?) tanks like they do in Pyongyang.
And even though out-of-state masked mercenaries with cool Norse tattoos are the ones terrorizing our neighbors, we’re hearing something about the Insurrection Act to protect “us” from “paid insurrectionists.” And no, Mom, it’s not because the city is a war zone. (Although there are um, more troops here now than in Iraq and Syria combined.)
In other news, there’s an unrelated foreign genocide but nobody’s allowed to talk about it in America for some reason! (I hope the reason is not spoilers.)
I’m a little on edge! The whole thing really feels like a mid-season cliffhanger in Andor and we’re all wondering which one of us is gonna be the French girl who is tossed to death by a police robot. (“Ya gonna be tossed!” - Ringo Starr)
Until then, check in on your people. Consider donating to this immigrant bond fund to protect people from deportation. Support immigrant workers who might not have sick days to spare. And protest! It might be getting a little dicey out there, but there’s strength in numbers, and they’re a little fun sometimes. And when your children someday ask you if you were on the good side, you can proudly say, “yes, my boy, I was” but quietly as the DOGE prison camps don’t allow talking after lights out.
And let’s be mature! If you see an ICE agent, remember they are pretty stressed out, too. “Nobody ever thinks about the family of the henchmen.” After all they are dealing insanely with raised quotas, that famed Marxist philosopher Geraldo Rivera called “deeply disturbing” on some leftist pirate broadcast called NewsNation.
I’m practicing some self-care by listening to some songs are deliriously inappropriate. Just imagine jamming out to these while those big boom cannons the police have now explode in the background.
Sara Montiel “La Violetera”
I forgot how this song came on. It was driving me crazy, but I figured out why I know this—it’s the same tune from one of my favorite movies, City Lights.
Transplants “Diamonds and Guns”
“Two thousand and two, baby!” Yes, those halcyon days.
This punk supergroup made this song that is very Entourage-core. It’s not a “gold standard” for me—I forgot about until I googled “popular songs you never hear played anymore” and this was the first result. It’s car commercial music! Throw on a fedora, in this instance—it’s a cool weird thing you’re doing! Other Entourage-core songs include this Oakenfold-Shellshock collaboration and this entire Moby record. I don’t even know if I like this song, it’s been a weird week!
Charles Hamilton “Scorpion”
At the frontlines, holding up a boombox towards a line of LAPD officers, playing this. One of them can’t help. but smirk. Another begins tapping his toes. A shoulder starts shrugging. A snapping of the fingers. Guns are lowered. Five minutes later, we’re all dancing sexily on the 110!
Ursula Dudziak “Papaya”
Technically, this could be protest music.
Chantal Goya “Tu M’as Trop Menti”
The weird thing about France is that this actually was protest music kinda. This song is from the Godard film, Masculin Feminin, which is about creepy hornball teenage socialists who lust after ye-ye singers. Chantal, also the “feminin” of the film, exclusively made children’s music after this.
Kurtis Blow “Basketball”
I love how craven of an attempt of an attempt at a pop song this is. There’s immediate product placement and then the first line is, “basketball is my favorite sport, I like to watch em dribble up and down the court.”
Leroy Smith “Gift to the Game”
This weird Charlie Murphy novelty song (it’s actually Ryan Leslie singing) is actually a million times better than the Kurtis Blow one. “Leroy Smith” was a very complex Nike commercial with Murphy playing the guy who motivated Michael Jordan for success.
This was actually very good and funny, particularly at 1:38 and 2:25.
Gary Wilson “Debbie Debbie”
I was supposed to be on a show with Gary Wilson but he just didn’t show up for it.
The Beach Boys “Vegetables”
RIP Brian Wilson. Eat your veggie tables, kids.
American Spring “Sweet Mountain”
One of my favorite Brian Wilson songs, with his ex-girlfriend singing on it. I love how modern this one sounds at the beginning, then how it sounds more Brian Wilson-y as it progresses.
Sophie B. Hakwins “As I Lay Me Down”
I have a soft spot for lite fm hits
Frankie Valli and the Four Weirdly Young Guys “December 1963 (Oh What A Night)”
I remember seeing this live on PBS and I never forgot it. These American Idol auditioners dressed in Express Men big shirts, most of them like 27 years old except for weirdly one guy that actually seems like the age of someone singing backup for someone who charted in the 1960s. They do minimal choreography as Frankie follows along at 25%. He doesn’t sound bad, though!
Now let’s fast-forward 20 whole years and see how he sounds!
YOU STILL GOT IT (jk it looks like he might tip over like a top-heavy coatrack)
Robert Wyatt “Pigs”
Pigs? Huddled up in there?
This one weirdly works here.